On april 6th 2014, the National Championship iaido will be held again.
For me it will be rather interesting to participate there since what happened during the last Ishido cup in Januari 2014. (See article: “an interesting cut”.)
As you might have read I injured myself while performing in a taikai. On itself it wasn’t quite shocking and after two stitches it healed beautifully. But the lesson taken from this adventure was much more relevent and important to look at; humbleness in training and performing.
This is an important issue for me. After the adventurous cut I realised an old habit in me, a demon, which was manifesting during my iai performance. Not always clear and visible because often I could camouflage it or ignore it all together. But it was there, the hunger for recognition. Feeling the need that my performance would be noticed and qualified as excellent. It isn’t just wanting to be good. It’s wanting to feel the recognition! Wanting to be confirmed.
As you might understand it is a beautiful thing to come across such an ability to see your own demons. It gives the immediate chance to change. To alter the expectation.
So for the coming championship I have the possibility to test myself on this matter. To see if I indeed am willing to face and accept this ‘demon’ or if I’m still fooling myself.
Can I keep my mind empty? Will I not be distracted by my own need for recognition?
We will see……